Building Self-esteem, Even If You've Never Had It

Self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. I know you probably are going to go back and read that first sentence to make sure I worded it properly.

Many feel that a person is born with it, or maybe was popular in grade school and held onto that for the rest of their lives, always succeeding at whatever due to public support. If only that were so, we'd all have an excuse to frown and be depressed most the time.

Usually, it is the opposite of what we think the dynamics are of self-esteem. The gorgeous blonde in elementary school with the long pony tail, who maybe relied totally on looks for self-esteem grows up, has a few kids, gains weight, hair falls out and the rest turns gray from dealing with the hyper children and maybe a workaholic husband and she sits at home now and watches soap operas and drinks a bit too much, remembering the good old days when life was simpler.

It doesn't necessarily help to be raised in a family that is considered highly-esteemed in their community. Though this can be a positive, it can also be a negative. Often the child rebels as a teen or even before that. And even more often than not, never grows out of it, finding him or herself estranged from the rest of the family well into adulthood.

So, once again, self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. That might not make sense if you feel your self-esteem has diminished for whatever reason. My point is, it can be learned for the first time, or be established maybe for the first time in a whole new lifestyle. We have the right to reinvent ourselves.

Maybe you were the star athelete and wore the right clothes, made applauded every time you through a touchdown pass. You kept your grades up and you got consistent positive feedback. This helped your esteem. That is often how we get it early in life. But it is no longer that way in adulthood. Later in life, you landed a high paying marketing job and you hate it. The pay all goes to an ungrateful wife who spends it on fashions and takes vacations with her group of friends. And took your self-esteem with them, while you stayed home and drank beer and watched the game on television.

The truth is, as adults, we more often than not, have to create our own self-esteem. And the closer we get to knowing our real selves, the closer we get to higher self-esteem. We no longer get all the unconditional love, attention, and acknowledgment of our deeds we did when we were younger. It builds by the little things we do. Try it, keep a journal, and look at it next year. Read the whole year and see how dramatically you have changed for the better.

It may mean, on a day you are feeling lowest, you pick yourself up and go to a soup kitchen and volunteer. Maybe a nursing home and visit with the elderly. Tutor a kid with his/her homework. Do something positive to get outside of yourself. You will not get back your self-esteem most likely in one day. But if you find yourself making it a habit of helping others, you will slowly find your self-esteem rising. It is a natural consequence of helping others and getting outside oneself. Maybe it's physics. Maybe its the way the universe operates. But it works for many.

Iwith depression and low-self-esteem since my teen years (even when I was a popular kid). I always felt alone, even with people. Then I grew up. I became an adult. All of a sudden I was in my late forties. How did it all happen so fast. It was a blur. But now, I'd had a major heart attack and I was keenly aware of my mortality. Heart attack? That was what other people had, not me. I guess everyone thinks that. So I took a week and analyzed my life. I took, (as Richard Dreyfus' book in 'What About Bob?', baby steps. I studied. I researched. I learned. I even went back to college online. Online colleges lured some of them and they continue to study.

It is an interesting experience, to experience higher self-esteem, especially when one never had it. I fall into that category. I take it slow and easy. I enjoy the learning process. It has nothing to do with money or fame. It has to do with knowing me, and, finally, learning to like me, and maybe even love me, so I can love others.

With all the obstacles and challenges I have endured in my life, and I am certain there are many others who have much tougher stories, if I can do it, anyone can. I just take a little time out of each day and do something to build my self-esteem. I may do a lot of other things incorrectly, but I try to learn to do them right, and still, I take time for myself to do just a little something positive for me or someone else, or both, with no thought of compensation.

I'm a slow learner, but in ten years, I've accomplished a thousand times more than I did in my first forty-three years.

I created the largest cartoon site o the Internet which makes people feel good. I then launched nine gift stores; LTSuperstore, RickLondonCollection, Justfunnygreetingcards,Justfunnycoffeemugs, Justfunnyaprons, Mirthgirthbirth, RickLondonwear, Justfunnymousepads, Justfunnyhoodies, etc. Surfers stop at my stores and often order either for themselves or a friend or family member. Laughter is a great self-esteem builder and is quite bonding.

Exposing ourselves to humor helps us be more light-hearted. We learn to "wear the world like a loose-fitting garment". If you do not feel you are a funny person, no problem. Just try to expose yourself to something or someone humorous as often as you can.In time dramatic changes can happen and you will like them. I know that I did and I'm a very slow student. Eventually, even for me, it happened and is happening still.

So, as I said, self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. Build some today. Baby steps.

Cartoonist Rick London battled depression and low self-esteem for years. He has since taken a path to higher self-esteem. He makes others laugh with his cartoon gifts & collectibles and Top Internet Offbeat Cartoons Easy Self-Esteem: Even If You've Never Had It

Article Source: http://www.c3careerarticles.com

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